Digital Common Sense

Earlier this morning Sheryl wrote …with my tail between my legs. If you haven’t read it yet, you really should go do so now. Go ahead and do so now. It’s ok. Clicking the link will open a new window and you can come back here afterwards. Go.

A long time ago, in a very tongue-in-cheek post, I used this cartoon. it had circulated the web a number of times.

It was a time when talk of women in technology was the high-toned meme of the day and I was one of those men who deemed myself enlightened. I wasn’t part of the good old boys network. I’d never do such a thing.

Bunk and poppycock. Now, a few years later, I see myself as much a part of that as ever, with only a renewed awareness that I don’t listen well and I talk over people. And in the technology sector, we men seem to almost all do that to a large…to a huge extent. Yes, my good friends and colleagues across the industry, this means you too. (Quit shrugging and get out of denial. I do mean you. You’re a male like me and we all do it still.)

Sheryl and I have an intensely personal relationship. How could we not? We live together and plan on marrying. We spend all of our days and nights together. We are intermingled in a special and magical way I could never share with another.

It’s through that personal bond between us that I’ve recently been smacked with clue-by-four myself. I’ve realized just how badly I listen. I too easily pretend to listen but don’t hear. That’s caused some rough moments at times. It’s unfair. Unjust. It’s simply wrong.

In our heads we openly acknowledge that everyone has knowledge, opinion and value to bring to the conversation. But in our circles of technology, we too easily and too often shut outsiders out. It’s been hard for me at many times to see Sheryl as any kind of an outsider, yet this morning, I too was on that call and saw what she saw.

She made valuable comments that were totally ignored. I made minor comments, and they were immediately echoed and acknowledged. Why? Testicles and testosterone can’t be the only reason.

It’s a societal issue that has long been of interest to me, yet something I’ve let slip down the attention chain to being overlooked. Sheryl’s post was a bit of a wakeup call for me, and a reminder that it’s something she and I must focus our efforts on as Stardust Global Ventures really engages in some important consulting work projects. It must be part of our essence as a team.

Make no mistake, we are a team of equals. If I take over conversation as a bucketmouth, I expect you, readers, friends, colleagues and all, to take me to task and be sure to listen to Sheryl closely. She brings incredible value to our efforts in ways I could never find without her.

Today, I’m not proud to be a white male. Not at all. Today that demographic group took a hard knock as we showed just how deeply ingrained our heritage of misogyny and egocentricity is. I’m focusing on improving that. I’m going to ask Sheryl to slap me in the head when I slip. Who’s going to slap you in the head? Don’t let it be a guy. That would simply carry our shameful behavior on into the future.

Technorati Tags: men, women, realtionships, women in technology, misogyny, discrimination, glass ceiling, clue-by-four

Filed by Ken at 2:17 pm under General, Tech in General, Technology